Archive for May 2014

I was exceedingly proud of myself for being able to thread my arms through my lotus and successfully roll in a circle for garbha pindasana. That was until I discovered that I was threading my right arm through at the wrong part of my lotus. My teacher stopped me just as I was beginning to roll backwards. She just laughed when I said, “Ahhhh. No wonder my right arm was so far away from my ear.”

However, the correct spot to thread my arm through seemed to be absent from MY lotus. I began reworking my lotus – tightening it up so that it doesn’t fall apart at the seams when arms are finding the space between the calf and thigh.

I found out, the hard way, that it is better to interlace your fingers around your lotus rather than rotating one arm in to lock your hands. A few times doing this earned me a nice bruise on my inner wrist.

Apparently, that is also NOT the right way to do it either. So I continue to work on it — daily within my practice and other times too.

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With the school year winding down, I have been looking forward to having more time to dedicate towards the development of my practice. Visions of myself progressing through the primary series and possibly being given a morsel or two of second have run through my head. During Monday’s hot Vinyasa class, Jenn dished out a hefty helping of back bends and it felt fantastic to let my spine extend that much. The following day, I zipped through the full primary series with ease. A few days later, however, my body’s left sided low back aches and pains began to rage. Instead of flowing through the practice, I creak and moan through it with bent knees and hesitancy. It’s hard not to get discouraged, and retreat into a ball of self-pity.

Not long ago, Wednesday to be exact, I wrote in my practice journal that I felt like my spine was being rebuilt. The opening I’d felt that morning had followed an über stiff start to my practice. In fact, I had to hang out in child’s pose for quite some time before moving to cat-cow, then pushing back for a bent-legged down dog. By the time I got going in my surya’s, time was already limited. I broke all rules and moved to navasana, then took on a sampling of the seated poses (janu A, marichyasana A, B, C, modified D). I emerged from savasana with a positive outlook; I was sure that something great would come of the discomfort…in time.

Yesterday was all together different. And today, I fear that my positive thinking is all wrong. Any bit of optimism I held onto has all but disappeared.

This morning, I sat at home wondering what I should do. Should I skip the led practice and practice on my own timing or brave it? I opted to go but planned to proceed with caution — which I suppose that is exactly where I am supposed to be. Instead of visualizing myself excelling in my practice, I modified and practiced being content with just that. Surely tomorrow will be different. The question is: How will it be different?

I suppose I’ll find out.