Healing

My practice took a severe slide backwards in the past couple of weeks. A culmination of many things including my recovering ankle sprain and a little overdoing it following an amazing weekend workshop with Kino Macgregor. All this was the likely cause of my hamstring issue to flaring up which prevented me from attending to the chronic tightening in my low back. I’ve been miserable and my practice has suffered along with me.

But wait a minute. Suffering? Have I really been suffering? Most assuredly, I have not.

I am fortunate to have learned a thing or two from all of my prior struggles with injury. Instead of pushing my body, with hopes that I can continue to perform my asanas at the same level as before, I search for contentment in learning new ways to be in the pose. These modifications are not any easier per se; the practice still stirs up your “stuff.” I’ve shed more tears in feeling inadequate and unable to meet the demands of what my life is asking of me these days. Of course, this is the same stuff that I face off the mat.

And that is truly the magic of this practice. Isn’t it?

On Friday, I was unable to make the Led Primary. By the time I found focus in my home practice (read: actually stuck to the series without stopping to foam roll or other stretch), I was out of time. I chalked it up to me practicing not practicing.

Therefore…I felt that actually practicing today (Saturday) would be okay, since technically I had a rest day yesterday.

I decided to move my practice downstairs and follow along to Kino Macgregor’s Led Primary CD. I followed along as best as I could and paused periodically to get into poses which require a little more time than Kino’s video provided.

Of course there were quite a few times where I felt the pull to stop the practice and attend to my weekend chores or other activities. The gods must have felt that I could keep going for these forces to roll up my mat faded away as quickly as they came. The dogs even stayed put, one just a few feet away from my mat.

I found myself trusting a little more than usual. I took a chance in bujapidasana and attempted placing my chin directly on the mat. Initially, I didn’t quite make it. I tried again and got it…sort of.  I even reached for my wrist in a couple of poses where I’d only grasped my fingertips before. The release on my back was lovely.

I can only hope that tomorrow brings a little more of the same, but I’m not attached. By now, I know, these days come and go.  I guess that is why I took the time (post -practice) to take a few selfies for posterity and to visually see if my position in the pose looked halfway as good as it felt. It’s not always the case, you know.

Anyway, I am noticing some signs of healing in my ankle and back. Hopefully the improvements will continue and eventually allow for some healing of my hamstring as well.