just thinking…

There is a fine line we skate between listening to our body and pushing the edge in the name of growth. I have certainly made my share of mistakes in my years of marathon training, but yoga is fairly new to me. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that I am hitting a few obstacles as I attempt to step up my yogic game. Hello Screaming SI Joint, Wonky Hip, and Tender Sacrotuberous Ligament! OUCH! But it’s hard not ask, “what the heck…am I doing?” and “why?”

It’s more than my ashtanga practice, although I am currently wondering to what extent the heavy forward folding (spinal flexion) of the primary series has led to my repeat experience of SI joint separation/sprain. I’ve been here before; it’s not all ashtanga. And I’d love to believe that the ashtanga method could help me build strength in my low back, hip, sacroiliac joint, and all the ligaments that keep that joint functioning properly. I’m just not sure if now is the time.

Bigger than what type of yoga I practice is whether or not my path to teach is right…or whether the timing is. This injury and, more specifically, the actions that made it so extensive point out the fact that I have much more to learn about myself, the vulnerabilities of my body, in addition to the practice. Maybe now is the time to simply focus on strengthening my own practice, my body, and my understanding. Maybe I need to rethink all the rest.

Maybe…

I am not exactly thinking clearly these days.