What’s new?
I’ve been struggling to produce a unique response to the yoga studio’s prompt for the teacher spotlight for Spring. The prompt, “What’s new in your practice?” seems like a simple question. So, why am I three weeks late on coming up with a response?
The simple answer is nothing. I have not been given any new poses for over 6 months. I have been showing up for class faithfully since the beginning of the pandemic — even when I knew that being on camera would mean that my broken heart would be seen by all. The practice has it’s way of revealing the raw parts on us, whether we like it or not.
But, it’s not that simple. As the anniversary of my husband’s passing, Spring spotlights the deepest, saddest parts of me. I don’t go looking for these feelings, they bubble up regardless of attention. Trying to distract myself from it is like ignoring an injury (such as a broken toe) while practicing yoga; the pain makes you take notice.
Instead of going about my every day activities, I’ve made point of giving myself the space to feel what ever comes up during this time. In past years, my answers to the Spring teacher prompts were bathed in a melancholy of sorts. I didn’t want to repeat that this time. Instead, I asked for more time.
Additionally, I took time off from work and asked another teacher to sub for me on the anniversary day so that I could have my yoga practice at the usual morning time.
Interestingly, my asking for more time, as well as getting coverage for my class, is exactly the thing that is new for me.
I’ve spent my life giving to others — sometimes at my own expense. Lately, however, it’s taking a toll on me. My body is unhappy and my mind frazzled trying to be in two places at once and please everyone — all with the expression on my face on display for all to see. As the pandemic wears on, I have come to realize that I just can’t do it all.
On my mat, I pull my attention back to myself, the prescribed dristhi, and the sound of my own breath (instead of the computer). I have also been more conscious of conserving my energy when it is low. After all, this is the practice as it was meant to be done.
Yet, during the past couple of years, I have found myself grasping to contribute and hold space for a community-feel amidst the pandemic-driven online environment. While this sounds like a good thing, it has it’s drawbacks for both me as well as for the members of my yoga community. It’s time to zip my lips and continue to contribute simply by showing up for practice. And if we want to chat it up, well perhaps there will be time for that too (outside of practice, that is).
Good Night Moon
When I first started practicing Ashtanga Yoga (exclusively), I often wondered if I really needed to honor the moon days. I mean, we are taught to practice independently, to our own breath, and without a teacher calling out the movements. So, even if the Mysore Room at the studio was closed, we all know our practice. So, what would be the harm?
Back then, my practice was relatively short (< 1 hour) and I was slowly learning how to manage my energy. Each day, I balanced the two ends of the energy spectrum. A tug-o-war of: How Not To Push Too Hard With My Athlete’s Mentality vs. How Not To Let My Chronic Back Pain Stop Me From Seeing Where My Practice Could Go On Any Given Day (rather than giving up without even stepping on my mat). Additionally, in these early days of Ashtanga, being a single mom, I had a hard enough time getting to the studio for my Mysore Practice. I guess I didn’t feel like I earned OR needed a rest day.
Fast forward 10 years and my view of the Moon Days is quite different.
- First off, my daily (6 days per week) practice is generally 1 ½ to 2 hours long.
- Secondly, my body seems to know that it’s time for a break from practice. It is just as important to let the body recover as it is to practice consistently.
- Finally, it’s tradition — a beautiful one at that.
During my evening walk, I look up a the full moon in the sky and smile. I try to capture the beauty that I see before me with my phone, but it’s no use. At bedtime, I look out the window to take it in one last time before going to sleep. Then, I crawl into bed without setting my alarm.
“Good night stars. Good night air. Good night noises everywhere” – Margaret Wise Brown
…and good night to all my fellow Ashtangis:
- Sleep in.
- Rest well.
- I’ll see you on the mat on Thursday.
CANCELLED: Intro to Mysore Style Ashtanga Yoga (4-week course)
As of 20 October 2021, this workshop has been cancelled due to lack of interest. We can explore bringing it back some time in 2022.
UPCOMING WORKSHOP
Intro to Mysore Style Ashtanga Yoga
Saturdays: October 30th, November 6th, 13th, and 20th 2021, 3:00 – 4:30 pm
I am excited to announce that I will be teaching another Introduction to Mysore course, as I did in January of this year. The 1.5 hour workshop-style sessions of this 4-week course will occur on Saturday afternoons online (via zoom). Students will learn the various aspects of Ashtanga Yoga, including posture, breathing, and dristhi, which create the basis for practice as a moving meditation.
We will start by learning the elements of Surya Namaskar (Sun Salutation) forms A and B. These sequences are the foundation of Ashtanga Vinyasa Yoga and establish the basic form and flow of the greater series of postures. Building on this foundation, students will be introduced to the standing, some of the seated, as well as the finishing postures. During each session, students will be led through the postures and then they will be asked to perform the postures on their own.
This 4-week introductory course includes 3 weeks of unlimited access to the Ashtanga classes (mysore style and led practice) at Breathe Together Yoga (October 31st- 19th). More details below as well as on on the BTY website.
MYSORE SESSIONS:
Students will be encouraged to join the morning mysore sessions (Sun – Thurs) where they will practice self-paced with the mysore community. In this mysore-style practice, students have time to break down, investigate, and repeat postures. These sessions are included in the price of the course. Note: Currently, mysore sessions are taught online with the exception of Sunday – now being offered both in-studio (masks required) and online.
LED PRACTICE:
Once a week, there is a traditional Led Primary class (Fri) where practitioners practice the poses as they have learned them at the pace of the traditional sanskrit count. It is in this weekly led practice helps reinforce the sequence, and helps the practitioner create steadiness within their practice. This “led” primary series, as taught at BTY, is open to all levels and will have modifications given throughout.
Consistency is Key
It is very important to me to maintain consistency in my own practice as a student. Not only do I learn about myself (through this self-study practice), but I feel that I am better able to teach my students if I have explored the asanas for myself (even if my body is different).
On the days when I am not teaching, I enjoy practicing with my community as one of the students. Not only does this let the students know what I can and cannot do, I believe it also shows the community how dedicated I am to our Ashtanga Program. I don’t just teach; I rely on it for my own development.
Well, my own sanity too.
Living Out Loud
Just over 2 years ago, my yoga teacher sat down beside me on my mat to have a heart-to-heart with me. She is a very intuitive and caring person and saw that I was closing off. The backbends that I had worked so hard to develop where losing their beautiful arch and you could see that I was holding back. She wanted to help me find openness in my heart center, not just in my physical backbends but deep within. As much as I trusted her to hold space for me to do the work, I also knew that the timing just wasn’t right. I was working through a huge heartbreak and felt the need to protect my heart.
In the year that followed, she held space for me to work through it. If I broke down in tears after back bending, she didn’t make a big deal out of it. Because if emotions come up in this practice and our mat is a safe place for us to work through it. Within the Mysore Room of my yoga studio, I felt safe to let the sadness, anger, frustration, and other emotions go right there on my mat, with my fellow practitioners nearby. Meanwhile, my teacher continued her work in the room, helping the students just as before. I appreciated that.
By the time COVID-19 had us all staying within the walls of our homes, an entire year had passed. And although, I thought I’d be on the other side of the loss by then, sheltering-in-place uncovered a different level of pain for me. A pain that showed up on my computer screen in an in-your-face, take-THIS sort of way. At times, I felt as if all the work I had done was a lie; I felt those protective walls thickening and my heart closing off once again.
As the months passed, it was evident that if was to ever be freed from the fortress of protection that I had built around me, I had much more work to do. Read More